Musings
by Liv Tinuviel
Summary: Pseudo-Songfic to "You've Got a Friend in Me." Merlin and Arthur as they muse on themselves and each other at various times in their relationship  thus far. Friendship only.


_You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

Merlin had felt an instant connection to the poor boy on the receiving end of the thrown knives. How could he not? Merlin himself (being rather tall and gangling) had often been the subject of such cruel pranks. But that instant, brief connection was nothing – _nothing_ – to how he felt when he snarked at the bully in charge. Glaring at the broad blond, Merlin felt as if he had just reunited with a brother long lost. But that couldn't be right, because Merlin would never be friends with such an ass.

_When the road looks rough ahead  
And you're miles and miles  
From your nice warm bed_

Arthur was exhausted. He was physically tired from the long ride and the fight with the cockatrice; he was emotionally weary from the strain of fighting with his father and watching the life slip from his clumsy servant; his arms were close to breaking from the weight of his fully armored body. But Arthur was a man of honor, and neither fatigue nor those rapidly approaching spiders would deter him from his mission. Blessedly, a strange glowing orb chose that moment to appear before him to light the young Prince's way.

_Just remember what your old pal said  
Boy, you've got a friend in me_

Something was clearly bothering Merlin, and had been since they began their journey. Arthur hadn't wanted to ask, had really dreaded the conversation ("We can talk about your feelings _while _we walk," drifted through his mind), but enough was enough. Finally, he got the servant to admit concern for Camelot, but Arthur knew that wasn't all. He just wished Merlin could trust him: he wished they could be friends. But a Prince's friends were his fellow Knights, and all the banter in the world apparently couldn't blur the line between servant and master, no matter how little deference his servant gave the Prince.

_You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

Merlin was touched by Arthur's awkward attempts to show his concern. All that ridiculous nonsense about how they could have "got on" in another life, when Merlin knows for certain that he and Arthur have moved past servant-and-master to become actual friends. He smiles softly, before lying to Arthur about the reason he's been quiet all day. Lying. Maybe they weren't actual friends, even if Merlin wanted them to be. But what sort of person would consistently lie to a man he called friend?

_You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too  
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you _

The forest was damp, and Merlin despaired of ever finding the man he was looking for. But there! Anhora approached the young warlock who had been shouting his name for the better part of the last half hour. Merlin begged the Keeper of the Unicorns to give Arthur another chance. He had seen glimpses of the man, the king, Arthur could become, and to throw away that promising future because a young man had foolishly let his pride rule his head was madness. So he sought out Anhora, and pleaded Arthur's case. Sometime later, he burst into the Prince's chambers, breathless and beaming, to tell Arthur that he would have one last chance.

_We stick together and we see it through  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

Arthur had been furious to find out that the Druid boy had, in fact, been hiding in Morgana's chambers. He had been furious to find out that both Gwen and Merlin (who had apparently rescued the boy in the first place) had been helping her care for him. But most of all, he was furious they had asked him to help them get the boy out of Camelot. Gwen he couldn't blame – for reasons he didn't care to examine – but Morgana was manipulative and Merlin was an idiot. Didn't they realize that they were asking the _heir to the throne of Camelot_ to commit _treason_? Then he remember how young the boy had looked, hiding behind Morgana, and how very determined all three of them were to see the boy to safety. He would do them this favor – the boy's youth and his loyalty to Morgana (and Gwen, and Merlin) demanded it. But heaven help them all if he got caught.

_Some other folks might be  
A little bit smarter than I am  
Bigger and stronger too  
Maybe_

Merlin watched from the sidelines as Valiant roughly defeated yet another of Camelot's fine knights. Arthur was in the tent, resting before his final match of the day, and hadn't seen Valiant fight. There was something strange about the way the Knight took such abrupt, decisive victories. Some of the knights hadn't yet recovered, which, while not unusual in itself, worried Merlin considerably. Oh, Arthur was an excellent swordsman to be sure – the finest in Camelot, or so said people who knew about such things (Gwen and Morgana for instance, when giving Merlin a quick tutorial before the tournament), but something about Valiant wasn't right. Merlin would keep an eye on the man, and perhaps have a chat with Gaius.

_But none of them will ever love you the way I do  
It's me and you_

Arthur pulled his arm back abruptly, halting his movement to clasp Merlin's arm in a soldierly gesture of affection. Typical that Merlin would go for a hug. The Prince and his servant stayed awkwardly frozen with their arms up defensively. Merlin mumbled an excuse about going to get Arthur's armor, or boots, or something, and lowered his hands, turning away. Arthur called him, and when Merlin turned back, thanked him again and cuffed his servant lightly on the back of the head. Merlin smiled and called the Prince a prat before turning on his heels to complete whatever task he had invented moments ago.

_And as the years go by  
Boys, our friendship will never die_

Merlin knew that it was unfair to blame Arthur for killing Freya. But Merlin couldn't help the cold tone of his voice, nor the clipped and uncharacteristically bland answers he gave whenever Arthur spoke to him. Merlin had saved Arthur countless times, and how had the Prince repaid him? By killing a girl who Merlin had identified with and found himself beginning to love. If Freya was a monster, then so was Arthur: he killed people with far more willingness than she had done. But then Arthur sat on the floor and made a prat of both of them just to make Merlin smile, and Merlin thought that he just might forgive the Prince. Eventually.

_You're gonna see  
It's our destiny_

As he lay recovering in his bed, Arthur pondered his most recent near-death experience. He seemed to have quite a lot of them, but this latest had been closer than those past. He could challenge a knight, or capture a sorcerer, but nothing could save him from the bite of the Questing Beast. Or so he had thought. Then Gaius had miraculously brewed an old, forgotten cure, and Arthur had begun to recover. Inexplicably thwarting death had become a commonplace activity, another one of his knightly duties, by now, and Arthur had come to suspect that someone was watching over him, keeping him safe. And speaking of someone watching over him – where was Merlin? Arthur was thirsty and needed his servant to fetch a drink.

_You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

Merlin packed frantically, eager to be gone. Gaius had tried to stop him, and was unmoved by Merlin's appeal to an unfulfilled destiny. But Merlin's quick, desperate "Gaius, he's my friend," had changed the physician's mind, and Merlin now left with his mentor's blessing. Good thing, too, because Merlin would have hated to have to sneak out the back window to meet his death. Gaius was right, after all – all men lamented opportunities missed and destinies unfulfilled, and if that had been the sum of his and Arthur's relationship then maybe he could have let Arthur die. But Arthur was more than that, and what man wouldn't sacrifice his own life to save that of his brother?

_You've got a friend in me_

**Hello! My very first attempt at Merlin (which I, sadly, do not own)! One quick note: Merlin and Arthur's relationship gets redefined a lot (as friends, as master and servant, as brothers) because I feel like they sort of go back and forth wrestling with the various things that impede outright friendship between the two. That's all…just had to make that quick excuse. Do please drop a line and tell me what you thought – it would be most appreciated!**


End file.
